Episode 6 - AhDream Smith
Maddi Albregts Intro
This podcast is brought to you by Mad Theatre Company, a nonprofit theater company based out of New York City.
James
Hello and welcome back to One Hale of a Conversation. My name is James Hale. I am your host and I have the immense pleasure of being in the studio with AhDream Smith: Actor, storyteller, director extraordinaire. Welcome. Welcome,.
AhDream
Thank you!
James
How are you?
AhDream
I'm well. So excited to be here.
James
Excellent! It's very exciting. We're just going to dive right in.
AhDream
Okay.
James
Start off with the hard hitting questions. Educational path.
AhDream
Mmm hmm.
James
You went to Wesleyan for a B.A., I believe.
AhDream
Mmm hmm.
James
You then went to UNC for the MFA program before landing here in New York. Umm, I'm wondering, can you just sort of tell us how that journey, how that happened?
AhDream
Sure.
James
Why why those places? Why that order?
AhDream
Yeah, I mean, you know, I…I've been thinking about that recently. I recently, umm, like top of the year, I got a box from…of my stuff from one of my professor's house. Bless her heart. I thought I got all my stuff out of her house, but clearly didn't. And literally, I had programs, my school I.D. books, all from 2009.
James
Ok, excellent.
AhDream
So this is very fresh on my… fresh on my brain. But yeah, you know, I had the opportunity to go to Vanderbilt and I'm originally from Memphis, and I often wonder, like, how differently my life would have been, you know, but I didn't. I chose Wesleyan because I was like, you know, what an opportunity to get away from home. I'll be in between New York and Boston.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
I had never been to the Northeast. I didn't realize that Boston and New York wasn't as close to, you know…
James
Sure, right.
Wesleyan specifically, especially if you don't have a car. But I was like, yeah, well, I’ll be right there. And, you know, Wesleyan had a strong academic program. At that time in my life, I wanted to be a doctor and an actress. So it just made sense to go to a liberal arts school.
James
Absolutely.
AhDream
They had a strong, a strong science program and I didn't know much about the arts, but I knew that there was film and theater and I was like, okay, that's enough. And so that's why I chose Wesleyan. Fortunately, or unfortunately, when I got there, the science environment was just from, you know, talking to the kids on the street, they were like, “oh, you know, they're weeding people out of the sciences.” Cause I guess a lot of people who go there, you know, go with the intention to go into some type of medical school or something.
James
Sure. Right
AhDream
And that's just like, you know, that's not for everybody. But, I, that's what someone had said and that really just scared me. And I was like, I just want to keep taking science classes because I actually enjoy science.
James
Right right, like, I really like learning this. Sure.
AhDream
Right. And so instead of maybe like, I don't know, seeing for myself, I was in a science class and I think within the drop-add period, I just dropped it cuz I was like, I'm not trying to mess up my GPA! Like for what? And with, with the acting, I…you had to audition for Acting One and I, and I think…I think back on this and I don't know if I signed up for the right class or…
James
Yeah, that seems a little strange.
AhDream
Right!? Right. So not only did I have to audition, I didn't get in and the guy was just like, “Oh, try again next semester.” And Wesleyan, you have to declare your major sophomore year, which is nice. You know, they give you a year to kind of figure some things out.
James
Yeah absolutely, settle in.
AhDream
Yeah, but I, I, had coming out of high school, I was like, high school flew by. I'm like, college is going to fly by. Like, I don't have time to be waiting a whole other semester!
James
Okay.
AhDream
Just let it go, you know?
James
Wow. Okay.
AhDream
I know it's dark, and they eventually fired that person before I graduated.
James
No!
AhDream
Yeah, Karma
James
Is it because of you? Did you, did you narc?
AhDream
I didn’t. I didn’t. But it just, it in some ways, it kind of helped put a little balm on that wound.
James
Sure.
AhDream
That this person may or may not or didn't have, you know, just people's best interest at heart.
James
Sure. Yeah.
AhDream
Any who. But that put me on a different path for a while. Like I became an American studies major, I was thinking about becoming a U.S. ambassador. I know.
James
That’d be sick.
AhDream
Yeah. And then I just, I started learning a lot about this country and the history of this country in…in ways that just…I'm just like, everybody needs to know this information! You know, like, what if I hadn't signed up for this class? What if I hadn't come to college? What about all my friends who are at this college who aren't taking this class?
James
Who don't know, right.
AhDream
What about the people who aren't even going to college, you know?
James
That's so interesting.
AhDream
Yes. And so I will say, you know, irrespective of all the different paths and how, you know, it was a culture shock and all these other things, I cannot refute that I got an excellent education.
James
Excellent, excellent.
AhDream
Excellent. And it's so funny with the recent strike down of affirmative action in my sophomore year, we talked about this in my US Racial Formations class. There's this book called Yellow. I'm blanking on the author's name, but he talks about it specifically from the Asian-American perspective and how you can't compare, you know, the Asian-American experience with the Latinx American experience, with the African-American experience, because they're all in this country for different reasons.
James
Sure.
AhDream
You know, historically, Africans were brought to this country by force, you know, Latinx people historically have come to this country because of political and dangerous situations that, like, pushed them out.
James
Right, they were fleeing something.
AhDream
Fleeing, right. And then, you know like the Asian experience like…
James
Seeking economic opportunity.
AhDream
Exactly. So they're all…
James
That’s interesting.
AhDream
Right! And so it was so interesting. I literally opened one of the notebooks and it was talking about affirmative action after I had just read the news. And I was like…
James
Oh, like recently looking back at it?
AhDream
Literally. Right. Because like I said, I was going through the books to declutter. So I'm like, okay, stuff from 2009, I clearly don't need it. And I was just like, what are the odds that I come across this notebook on this day? And I'm like…
James
If you knew then what you know now…
AhDream
Right! Any who, we have digressed.
James
We have! Yeah, I love that. So you're at, you're at Wesleyan and you're studying. You're, you got a BA in forgive me it was
AhDream
Just a Bachelor of Arts
James
American studies with race and ethnic…?
AhDream
Concentration of race and ethnic studies.
James
Okay. So you're taking classes there. You have effectively stopped trying to pursue acting.
AhDream
Yeah. Yeah.
James
How then did you end up going to UNC for an MFA in, I believe, theater?
AhDream
Yeah. In acting, yeah. So my senior year, I came across this flier promoting The Vagina monologues.
James
Okay.
AhDream
And I was like, I knew nothing about it, but I was like, You know what? Let me just go try.
James
Sure.
AhDream
You know, and I got in and I got accepted into the production.
James
Oh, you were cast?
AhDream
I was cast in the production and it was so much fun! And I was like, wow. And then it was like my ten year’s [old] out, I started discovering all these things that Wesleyan had to offer, like the student. The students in the film department make films, they make shorts and they need actors, right?
James
Right.
AhDream
And so, like, I was in like a student film and, and then there's…
James
This is your senior year?
AhDream
My senior year.
James
Wow, okay.
AhDream
Yeah, and there's this student run theater called Second Stage, which I think is, you know, mimicked off of the New York Second Stage.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
And like they do student productions. And so I was in a senior thesis and I was just like, man! All this time, all this time, you know, even if I didn't go through the traditional training of acting, I could have been…still involved.
James
Right, yeah.
AhDream
But, I didn’t know.
James
You don’t know. You don't know what you don't know.
AhDream
That's it. And so I left Wesleyan, like, inspired, like, okay, like maybe they're still hope, but really clear that I needed and wanted training.
James
Of course.
AhDream
And so I went into corporate America after graduation into advertising and was still like trying to figure it out.
James
Mmm hmm.
AhDream
And then I got to a point where I was just like, okay, I can't…a lot of these programs that I'm seeing or that I was looking at specifically like summer intensives…
James
Mmm hmm.
AhDream
I was just like, I can't do that and a full time job. And so I made the choice to just like exit stage left and try to figure it out like, really bet on myself.
James
Yeah, yeah.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
Amazing.
AhDream
And so I did two different summer programs over two different summers. One at William Esper and one at Stella Adler. And…
James
Were you in New York working at the time?
AhDream
Yes. Yes. Yes. Um…and so it was great. I learned a lot. And I still felt like it was hard for me to synthesize the information because at that point, you know, I'm working different freelance gig jobs.
James
Sure.
AhDream
And yeah, I was just like, I just want to focus like, I don't want to have to be worrying about how I'm doing this commute here. This is…I just want to be able to learn the thing and do the thing.
James
Right.
AhDream
And that's how I started looking at MFA programs.
James
Okay.
AhDream
And yeah, it's just so funny. I…I was at UCB taking, umm, watching a show and one of the guys afterwards, I don't know, I was just congratulating him on the show and I don't know why shared, but I was like, I'm thinking about going to MFA, you know, getting a MFA, and he was just like, “Okay, what plays are you reading?” And I was like…
James
Oh.
AhDream
Umm…I don’t know, what plays should I be reading?
James
Right. What does that mean?
AhDream
Right? And he gave me a whole list and he was like, “listen, you need to go to the drama bookshop.” And I was like taking notes. And one of the plays he recommended was by Suzan-Lori Parks.
James
Ok.
AhDream
And so I go to the drama bookshop and there is a flier at the drama bookshop, and she was doing, in rep at Signature Theater, The Red Letter Plays.
James
Wow.
AhDream
So fucking A and umm, In the Blood. And so I was like, What are the odds!?
James
That’s crazy? And that's, yeah, the kismet.
AhDream
Very much so. So of course I go see both.
James
Excellent.
AhDream
And, I see somebody that I had met at like at an after party during like the Tony season in one of the plays. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm in the audience! You know, I like text him. I don't…listen. And he responded and I was like, ahhhh! So anyway, after that, he goes to talk to the cast and the other production and, you know, it just it all, it feels very divine.
James
Yeah
AhDream
I like some people in there. One of the ladies in that play is an alum of A.C.T..
James
Okay.
AhDream
And so, you know, she was talking to me about that program.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
And I just started getting connected to people who had recently graduated from MFA programs. And so they were kind of like putting me on game. Like, listen, you need to apply to URTA’s and obviously apply to like the top schools.
James
Right.
AhDream
You know…
James
Shoot your shot, but also…
AhDream
Yeah, shoot your shot. And this is also how you can like get a quality education and not go into debt. That's some real tea.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
Yeah. And so I was like, okay, so I did all that. I got a…I got an end-of- day call back at NYU first time, I was like, okay girl!
James
Whoaaa damn.
AhDream
Right?
James
That's a big time program.
AhDream
It was it. Yeah, it was really exciting. And I got no, no bites from URTA’s, so that was my big win.
James
Sure.
AhDream
So like end-of-day callback at NYU.
James
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
AhDream
And I was like, okay, I was coming from the Yale audition and I was on the train coming back to New York from New Haven.
James
Hmm mm.
AhDream
And this girl, we use the same coach. She was on the phone talking to her partner or whatever, and she was just like, Yeah, okay, you know…that didn’t go well, but like, I'm…this is what I'm thinking, like, London da da da da da da…
James
Hmm mm.
AhDream
And I was like, I know that's right! When one door closes, you just go find another one!
James
That’s right, you pivot, you pivot.
AhDream
Pivot! And I was just like, that's freaking brilliant. And in that moment I decided I'm going to apply again. And, what do I need to do or who do I need to be so that I'm not the same artist this time next year?
James
Right.
AhDream
Right.
James
That they see something different.
AhDream
That's it and that was my whole goal. It wasn't like, I want to get into all – It's just like – I want to be a different artist this time next year. And so there was this, there's this program in London called the Identity School [of Acting], and a lot of people of color go there. John Boyega is a graduate of the school.
James
Oh, wow.
AhDream
Right. And they also have an agency. And so they're repped by the, you know, the agency portion.
James
I see, okay. Theater program into the agency.
AhDream
Right. Right. And not necessarily everybody. You know, there's no guarantee, but, you know, blah, blah, blah.
James
Right.
AhDream
And so one of a friend of mine that I had met when I like went out to L.A. on a whim during my corporate time. And it's very kismet as well, though, Like I was still in corporate, went to L.A. to visit a friend. And this web series developer, Newman Perry, she's like gone on to have great success, but she started in the Web series.
James
Hmm mm.
AhDream
She had this channel called with her partner at the time called Black and Sexy TV.
James
Okay.
AhDream
And this was during “Oscars So White”, all that jazz.
James
Sure.
AhDream
And so she was, you know, creating alternative content. And it was happening around the time that I was in L.A. So, I had reached out to all these YouTube content creators and I was like, Hey, I'm going to be in L.A., I'd love to grab coffee, you know?
James
Sure.
AhDream
And everybody responded. But she was the one who was like, Hey, I'm not available for coffee, but if you're in town for this thing, you're invited. Oh, honey, I changed my plane ticket!
James
Ohhh.
AhDream
I became available, okay!
James
Sure!
AhDream
And so at that event, and it was basically like it, was like not Jeopardy, but like a battle of the… you know.
James
Sure.
AhDream
But like, movie titles.
James
Okay.
AhDream
So my my movie that I had to defend was The Five Heartbeats.
James
You had the defend so this was like a debate of some sort.
AhDream
This is why this is the greatest of all time. Yeah, that was the category, greatest film of all time. And the girl, the young lady who I was going against was defending the Color Purple. Yeah.
James
Wow. Okay.
AhDream
So at this party or event, the guy who…his name is JQ, he was in one of the web series. We connected fast forward back to the present…he went to LAMDA.
James
Okay.
AhDream
And so I'm on the train and I reach out to him and I'm like, Hey, I'm thinking about, you know, plant Identity. Like, you know, have you heard of it? What are your thoughts? And he was just like, Yo, they're opening up a L.A. branch. You should apply there. And I was like, ya know, that would be more cost effective than going across the pond.
James
Than, than going to London.
AhDream
Yeah, right, right. And so I applied, I got in, I flew out for the audition. I like flew off for 24 hours, came back, got in. I did that program for about two months. It was a part time program. So you kind of like could pay, you know, as you go.
James
Interesting.
AhDream
Yeah. And I think the structure is like that because like a lot of people in L.A. are already working creatives. So like some of the people in my class were stunt professionals or professional dancers.
James
Gotcha, sure.
AhDream
But it was there that I was like, I want to be a master. I think it's great. I think it's great to always be learning. And I think, you know, staying a student of the craft is important.
James
Right.
AhDream
But every teacher –
James
Recognizing that we are always students.
AhDream
Yeah, exactly. But every teacher that they brought in to teach us had a masters. And I was like, Yeah, I want a master.
James
Yeah, I want that, yeah.
AhDream
And also, you know, the benefit of going to not necessarily an accredited institution…I don't know if accredited is the word I'm looking for. There is another word, but it allows the school to offer like scholarships.
James
Okay.
AhDream
You know? So going to like a let's just say old school school, you know.
James
Traditional.
AhDream
Traditional. Thank you, James. Come on.
James
We got there.
AhDream
You know, it allows for for those type, those type of opportunities, whereas because this was a newer institution, you know, still getting set up, you know, that wasn't a possibility.
James
Right.
AhDream
So I apply round two and I get like 20 taps from schools in URTA’s, I make it to end-of-day again.
James
Yeah, okay.
AhDream
At NYU. I’m like okay!?
James
Wow. Everybody wants you!
AhDream
Listen, and you know, I…I was… I had like three top schools. I was looking at UNC, UT Knox…
James
Okay.
AhDream
And University of Washington and…
James
Sure.
AhDream
Yeah. I was actually at University of Washington when I got the call from UNC and I was like, Ohhhhh, buddy. And I think, you know, I chose, I ran into an alum of UNC –
James
Okay.
AhDream
– At UT Knox, while I was there visiting the program, she was in one of their plays. So UT Knox also has a professional theater –
James
Okay.
AhDream
– Connected to their program, the Clarence Brown Theater.
James
Right. Okay.
AhDream
And they were doing a production of Detroit 67, where it's also where I met Gerrard.
James
Of course.
AhDream
And…
James
I didn't realize you were there visiting that program. I thought you –
AhDream
Okay, I was there visiting their program. And because one of the leads was an alum of UNC, I was like, hey, you know, can we talk after the show?
James
Right?
AhDream
So of course, I get to meet the whole cast and, you know, and she gave me her insight and that's really what swung the pendulum for me.
James
Right.
AhDream
And so that's why I chose UNC. I was like, you know, the pro – the program is run by women and most of these other programs…
James
Interesting.
AhDream
Are men led.
James
Is that an intentional thing from UNC or just sort of an accident that it happens that way?
AhDream
Ahhhh, you know…I don’t know if it’s intentional. I mean, the program used to be…the program used to be run by a man…
James
Right.
AhDream
The MFA program, but there were still women on faculty, but he was phasing out and so the new head of the program was a woman. And also the artistic leadership at Playmakers was a woman.
James
Mmm, okay.
AhDream
And so I don't think that was intentional, but that's just right.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
And one of my mentors spoke highly of the artistic director and I was just like, That's all I needed.
James
Great.
AhDream
And so that's how I chose USC and also there was funding, you know?
James
Always got to take the funding into account.
AhDream
Listen…
James
School's expensive.
AhDream
School is expensive, and when you're not working a corporate job, you know, paying those loans off is a thing.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
So if you have an opportunity to get quality and graduate debt free…
James
Do it.
AhDream
Then that's what you do. Yeah. So that's Wesleyan to UNC.
James
Wesleyan to UNC. But you were in New York post Wesleyan pre UNC.
AhDream
Correct.
James
So I assume you came back here because you and Gerrard…both wanted to go here?
AhDream
No, I didn't know Gerrard.
James
When you came back to Carolina?
AhDream
Oh oh oh, Post Carolina?
James
Post Carolina.
AhDream
Yeah. I mean I came back to New York because I just, I feel like, you know, when I did my stint in L.A. with Identity, I just got really present to how, how different people move out in L.A., you know?
James
Sure.
AhDream
I think a benefit of New York that you don't necessarily realize is because everybody's kind of stacked on top of each other, like the frequency of you running into somebody you know becomes higher. You know, the subways run 24 hours a day, you know?
James
Right.
AhDream
So like the driving and getting stuck in traffic. Like, that's not really a thing if you're willing to get on the train and, you know, fortunately, if the train if it's just one train to get to you, then people are more, you know, the likelihood of linking up is higher.
James
Sure.
AhDream
There's a lot of free programing in New York. We could just go to a park –
James
Mmm Hmm, totally –
AhDream
It just…it, it, it seems to be less barriers of opposition to actually have community and to foster community. Whereas my experience in L.A. is like, if you don't live in the same neighborhood, you know, you just might not see people.
James
It's hard to see people, right.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
That’s really interesting.
AhDream
And I feel like obviously that, that becomes that that's person to person, you know?
James
Right
AhDream
How much do they value the relationship, etc.. But I think that overall energy was just kind of like you don't, people don't go outside of certain distances to see people and people are busy and it's like, what can you do for me if it's not worth my time? Yeah…
James
Interesting.
AhDream
Right!? I mean, now that was my experience. I'm not saying that's what it is for everybody. I'm not saying that's what it is today. But having experienced that and having experienced a sense of community here, I was like, I'd rather come back here –
James
Right –
AhDream
And let a job take me to L.A.
James
That makes complete sense. You base yourself here and know that you might have to be bicoastal.
AhDream
Yeah, Yeah.
James
That's a that's how a lot of people operated in this profession at a certain level.
AhDream
Yeah, and I just feel like, you know, there's I just have more tenure on this, on this coastline, you know?
James
Right.
AhDream
So if I need, you know, I got family. I consider them family. But you know, my chosen family in Connecticut from when I was in grad school. So if anything happens, Connecticut's up the street, you know?
James
Right.
AhDream
New York is a hub. I have family in Chicago and Memphis. I can get there easily from this airport, you know?
James
Yeah.
AhDream
So and then if I need to get back down in North Carolina, Playmakers wants to hire me. It's a straight flight.
James
Playmakers…she’s available.
AhDream
Playmakers!
James
She's available Playmakers!
AhDream
Or DPAC [Durham Performing Arts Center].
James
Ooo, I would love to be at DPAC.
AhDream
Yes.
James
DPAC is great.
AhDream
Denver or Durham.
James
Both of the D's.
AhDream
Yes!
James
All the D's. Someone hire me! Interesting. So I want to dig in a little bit. I so far I've only interviewed people who have been to LAMDA…
AhDream
Sure.
James
So I was really, really, obviously intimately familiar with the training they went through.
AhDream
Mm hmm.
James
And I'm curious about the MFA program at Carolina and sort of how you would describe the training, what types of, of, techniques and courses you were taught. Like is there anything noteworthy that you think sets UNC apart? Were you just doing endless scene study classes? Were you…you know, what…what was the educational experience actually like?
AhDream
Yeah, you know, that's a great question. I feel like in some ways it’d be easier to answer if I, you know, I could do an apples to apples or a comparison to another program.
James
Sure.
AhDream
You know, so I feel like it's in some ways it's kind of hard to say, oh, well, it was top notch because we got this –
James
Right –
AhDream
And I mean, nobody else got it.
James
That's fair.
AhDream
But we definitely didn't do endless study. I, and, I also would like to caveat that I feel like the training that was intended may or may not have been achieved because of the pandemic.
James
COVID. Right, okay.
AhDream
So there's that. I think my faculty, you know, did the best that, you know, they could with the given circumstances in some ways, you know, like I did Clown over Zoom, right?
James
Ooo Yeah, okay.
AhDream
I broke things in my house…
James
As you often do while clowning.
AhDream
Yes, however, I became an Aunt at that same time, and so gibberish –
James
Wow, right –
AhDream
Was like a gift to be able to use with my nephew, you know?
James
Of course. Just makes you better at play.
AhDream
Like we had full on conversations. Yes! And it is so cool. And I feel like we have a special connection because of that. Like he still talks to me now in gibberish. And I'm just like, I know…talk to me.
James
Hell yeah, I got you.
AhDream
Yeah. Let me see. What was something that I really enjoyed?
James
Well, so I guess to, to clarify my question a little bit…
AhDream
Yeah.
James
When I think about LAMDA, if I was to like describe the education that we got there I would be like basically they operate on the tenets of like the classical actor training,
AhDream
Mm hmm.
James
Which is more or less like movement or body…
AhDream
Okay.
James
Voice and then music and then those are like the three pillars classically. And then they also have sort of shoehorned in more broadly like acting.
AhDream
Sure.
James
Where we would do the scene study class or we would practice monologues or we would break down text.
AhDream
Okay.
James
Umm, and that's the only training really that I am familiar with or that I've been exposed to. And so I don't know, like is that every MFA?
AhDream
Right, right.
James
Is every masters program is based off that? Is there an ethos somewhere, umm, that I'm just not aware of?
AhDream
Yeah. Okay. That's, that's helpful. I, okay. So similarly, we moved each year with a focus on movement, voice and speech, and acting.
James
Okay.
AhDream
So those are kind of our three tenets.
James
Sure.
AhDream
And in each year, uh, in those different verticals, like how we approached it changed.
James
Hmm…
AhDream
So like year one in movement was very much about like forgetting everything you know and baby brain.
James
Right, right.
AhDream
And, you know, how do you tell a story off of a gesture and like a photo and like, can you recreate the photo with your body?
James
Hmm, interesting.
AhDream
You know, just very playful ways to kind of like get into character. And then like year two was about clowning. And then year three, you know, was looking at [the] solo show like, so how do you take all these different things to put it together? But so in movement specifically, I know year two there was supposed to be a focus on Alexander and like, you know, really bringing in a practitioner, like laying us on a table…
James
Okay.
AhDream
Like a whole semester of that being focused…of focus. But I know because of COVID, you know, boom.
James
Yeah, geez..
AhDream
And then with voice and speech, our teacher, we had two teachers, one trained in the Linklater method, and the other one I was also trained in a particular style..
James
Yeah, same technique.
AhDream
Yeah, yeah. Scott Miller I think. Scott?
James
Okay.
AhDream
And yeah, like it was really cool. It was really interesting for me, specifically because I've always considered myself vocally…loud.
James
Okay.
AhDream
You know, even like I personally am not loud, but I have considered myself to have, you know, strong vocal capabilities.
James
Okay.
AhDream
Because in high school I was the mascot and I was…
James
No way!
AhDream
Yeah. Yeah.
James
What was the mascot? What were you dressed as?
AhDream
Right. Well, it was it was a warrior. Umm but our mascot wasn't like the traditional mascot with the bubble head. So, like, I just had on an outfit. You could see my, you could see my face.
James
Okay. Okay.
AhDream
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
James
You weren’t, you weren't wearing Rameses.
AhDream
No no no no no. I wasn't doing that.
James
Okay.
AhDream
So, you know, I later learned this, like towards my senior year in high school that, you know, there's a whole mascot code. Mascots don't talk, all that jazz. But I'm like, Well, that doesn't apply to me.
James
Right, that's not me.
AhDream
Because I don't have a bubble head! You know? So I would be talking to the audience, you know, the guests at the game. I was the person that got the wave started at the Liberty Bowl. Football game. Like, you know what I'm saying?
James
Wow….
AhDream
That's the type of energy I move with.
James
Sure.
AhDream
And then I feel like, you know, I went to corporate and that got muted in a way.
James
Hmm of course.
AhDream
And so to get to grad school and my vocal teacher be like, I can't hear you. I'm like, what do you mean!? Like, honey!
James
Yeah, like, I know that’s not true.
AhDream
But it was true and it was in it was, you know, through working with her that I realized, oh, I have my memory of who I am, but my body isn't necessarily showing up in that energy.
James
Wow.
AhDream
And so I had to like, you know, then vocal warmups come into play and it's just like, oh, I actually have to do some things to get my body to, like, really resonate in a way that it used to naturally, because I've shifted, you know?
James
Sure.
AhDream
So I think that's the biggest gift I got from graduate school is like gaining that awareness and then gaining those tools to, to experience it for myself because I feel like unlike other art mediums or even just professions, acting is that thing that you have you get better at by doing, but it's oftentimes, you know, you can think you're doing great and it can not be effective.
James
Right.
AhDream
You know, so to experience my voice resonating and like you know hear the feedback from my my peers, but irrespective of them to hear it for myself.
James
Right.
AhDream
I was like, okay, this stuff works. You know?
James
They know what they're talking about.
AhDream
They know what they're talking about.
James
Yeah, I feel like I certainly had a moment similar to that of, you know, going into grad school and like I had some training and I'd show up and I'm like, Yeah, these guys are saying weird things and were doing weird stuff and like kind of whatever.
AhDream
Hmm mmm.
James
And then I don't actually remember when it happened, but I know that from where I started to where I like ended up like at some point I became a true, true believer.
AhDream
Sure.
James
And so there must have been a moment where I thought, oh no…they know.
AhDream
Yeah, they know.
James
They know, like this works.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
They know what they're doing. So is that specifically with the vocal work that you felt like you really, um, either learned the most or connected with the most?
AhDream
I, I just, I feel like the vocal work was something tangible, you know, like umm movement, as I said, I won - you know - I wonder what could have been possible because I had a I had a teacher, umm, when I was at Stella and he was, you know, at the after the end of the program, he was just like, you know, I really think you doing Alexander would serve you. And I didn't really know what that meant.
James
Right, okay.
AhDream
I didn’t know who Alexander was, I was just like, okay, yeaaaah, sure okay..
James
Sure, right, right.
AhDream
And so then when I heard the name again, you know, as I started researching graduate programs, I was like, oh, okay, okay, great.
James
Like, this is a thing, right yeah.
AhDream
Like, this program has that? Great. And so to not to not get it and then but to get the awareness of like, yeah, I do this, I do this thing…
James
Here's my habitual…whatever.
AhDream
Yeah, you know, or I see it in pictures and it's just like, Mm. Okay. I know I do it because I see it in pictures but like, oh snap, if I'm doing this in pictures, am I bringing this to every character.
James
Right.
AhDream
And if every character's different? Uhhh.
James
Right.
AhDream
You know. And so, yeah. And I mean with the acting, you know, text analysis and finding operative words and like, how do you lift the text? And you know, there's 17 different ways to say things like…
James
Right.
AhDream
You know, I think that's nice. And it was nice to just experience like, say, this line, okay, we're gonna, we’re gonna just lift this word now.
James
Right.
AhDream
We’re just gonna lift this word in in the regards of thinking of like, how do you make something different every night and…
James
How do you how do you remain playful?
AhDream
How do you remain playful, yeah,l so that it doesn't get stale for you or for the other person when you can't change the words?
James
Right.
AhDream
So I was just like, okay, but one thing that I wish that would be taken into consideration with all programs is that when you have people, some people that are coming from BFA programs and then some people that are coming from no training
James
Right or piecemeal training.
AhDream
Or piecemeal training, then what is the almost like evaluation test? You know, like how do you…and maybe just in the first year first semester, how do you get a sense of where everybody is so that you are progressively getting everybody to the same level?
James
Right.
AhDream
You know, versus coming in with the assumption that everybody knows how to beat out a scene, you know, text analysis, this, that, and the third when that's not always necessarily the case.
James
Yeah, not always true.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
Yeah that's really interesting. Yeah, I mean we…at LAMDA there was definitely something similar at least in like a first few months was just breaking down the habits.
AhDream
Sure, yeah.
James
Getting you in the mindset to receive the eventual information, umm, which I like in my head know that happened over the first couple of months.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
And there were a lot of us who were sort of impatient with like when we actually got to learn things…
AhDream
Sure.
James
Like you're just telling us what to not do, or we're just doing endless exercises to like, relax…
AhDream
Yeah.
James
When are we going to actively learn something? And they'd be like, ‘wait, wait, wait, it'll come, it’ll come.’ And it did eventually come. But now, thinking back to it, the time of greatest learning, I think, for me was the first few months there…
AhDream
Hmmm…
James
Which is when on paper we were technically learning very little.
AhDream
Right, right.
James
It was all about, what have you brought with you? Everyone's brought all these different things.
AhDream
Hmm mmm.
James
So we just need to spend endless hours in a voice class drilling and phonating…
AhDream
Wow.
James
And learning what's happening, or laying on the ground and like feeling your body. So I'm glad I'm glad this to hear that that's, you know, a uniform thing.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
At least across two schools.
AhDream
Yeah, body scans. They're like…
James
Hmm
AhDream
So powerful. I remember, umm, at Stella, we did…it was it still sticks out to me: We like, did this body scan and then he wanted us to just, like, move throughout the room and he was playing this like, you know, like instrumental, low key, whatever.
James
Hmm mmm.
AhDream
And then he wanted us to audiate and like people were just like, making different sounds and then like, but they all started to harmonize and then it turned into like some angelic type…I was just like, What is this!?
James
What is happening?
AhDream
Yeah, you know, like the lights were low, like it was a very like this is some…yeah.
James
Weird shit.
AhDream
Yeah, it can be. It can be…
James
Weird.
AhDream
Yeah. Powerful.
James
Powerful. That's the word. It can be powerful.
AhDream
Mm.
James
Amazing. So Wesleyan, you worked for a few years. You, you found the thing you wanted to pursue. You pursued it. You're back in North Carolina? No, you were in North Carolina. I'm getting North Carolina in New York confused. You're back in New York.
AhDream
Hmm mm.
James
Big city. You moved here…
AhDream
2022.
James
So last year. Okay.
AhDream
Hmm mm.
James
All of us are obviously at this stage of our career where we're very much balancing life, jobs, auditions, trying to be artists. How are you finding art? Do you feel that you're finding that balance? And if so, like, how do you navigate that? Is that something that's intentional for you, or do you just do whatever's in front of you?
AhDream
Yeah, umm, I feel like I'm still figuring out the balance.
James
Sure.
AhDream
I think I'm just now getting in a solid place. Yeah, So I was I've been working remotely and part-time for UNC still.
James
Oh that’s right. Okay.
AhDream
The graduate school specifically. And so a lot of last year in the fall and even in the spring was like every other month going back to North Carolina.
James
Hmm.
AhDream
And it was great. I feel like in a spiritual way, it allowed my, you know, sophomore grad school self to heal from that year. We lost, you know.
James
Yikes, yeah.
AhDream
Umm in some ways. But it was it's…exhausting to, you know, just feel like you're constantly not at home.
James
Hmm.
AhDream
You know, and moving in itself is a thing. And so I feel like I'm just now in the place of like, I can declutter, you know?
James
Wow, okay.
AhDream
I was like, yo, when I first got here, it wasn't even about, what do you need? What do you not need? It was just like, get the stuff out the boxes.
James
Right. You know, just get it out,
AhDream
Get it out the boxes! And so now I'm in a place of like, okay, actually, I need to let this go so that I can make room for the stuff that I really want. And not just in a physical way, but in a spiritual way as well.
James
Yeah, absolutely.
AhDream
Umm, and so I feel like that's where I am right now. And it has been very intentional and and but with that is like, how do I balance, you know, getting myself creating a routine for myself now that I'm outside of the structure of graduate school.
James
Right.
AhDream
And I think that's been my focus. And I'm and I'm trying, I'm oscillating between do I do I do that at the expense of simultaneously trying to build community?
James
Right.
AhDream
Because for me, community is really big and you know, being in the Bronx, whereas last time I was in New York, I was in Brooklyn.
James
Hmm.
AhDream
And now that I'm back, everybody and their mom is in Brooklyn…
James
Right…
AhDream
So it’s like, it’s real effort to meet up with people.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
Yeah. And so, you know, umm, that's that's been a challenge for me because like said, I enjoy community and I feel like I actually owe it to myself to if, if, if it means to be removed, to be removed, to get myself set up…get a routine in place, get a process in place. And that's because that's my thing too. I feel like now that I'm removed from graduate school, I can really reflect on all the tools that we were given and it's like, okay, we were given a lot. I might not need a scalpel every time I'm doing something.
James
Right.
AhDream
You know, maybe I need a butter knife.
James
Right.
AhDream
You know, maybe I just need the scissors. But I think you also need to have the time without the distraction of every which thing to be like, okay, what is going to be my process when I get the work? How am I constantly staying in process so every time that I get an audition, I don't feel like I got to ramp up to get ready.
James
Right.
AhDream
You know, it's just a matter of like, “ok and we're flowing”, you know?
James
Yeah.
AhDream
And that's that's where I wanna be. And, and in some ways I feel like, you know, I'm, I’m getting there. I'm seeing the progress and I want to be better, you know?
James
That’s lovely.
AhDream
So, yeah, that’s what I’m doing.
James
I definitely feel that about like maintaining some sort of readiness.
AhDream
Hmm mm.
James
For me, it happens in music actually, where like just because I take my eye off it and I think about it, it'll be weeks between me, like singing.
AhDream
Hmm.
James
And then all of a sudden I get some sort of musical audition and I'm like, “oh shit, I haven't sung in two weeks.” And It takes me two full days to just like, shake off the rust…
AhDream
Right.
James
Before I can then even start approaching this audition.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
And it's a less tangible and less obvious to me, but it is the same for any sort of straight play or non musical audition as well. Like if you're outside of that sort of creative mindset, creative, you know, self, whatever it is, umm, it does take some time to get back into. But it's also hard to constantly be in that place of readiness.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
Without ever getting to move beyond it to an actual role or being being, you know, not having control of when you can move into an actual role, which is…
AhDream
I’ma agree and disagree on that.
James
Okay.
AhDream
Because I feel like the greatest the great people, the Serena Williams, the LeBron James, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, you know, they're never not working out.
James
Right.
AhDream
They're never not watching film. Okay. Off season. Great. Still training.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
You know, and so I'm in a space of like, how do I bring that type of mentality to acting? You know? I, for a long time I was just like, man, musicians have it easy. Like, you got scales, you know, like…
James
You know, right. It’s easy to practice.
AhDream
You know how to practice, you know, like, do do do do do, do, do, do, do. Okay, great.
James
I got better.
AhDream
Right! And I'm like, what is that for the actor? You know? Is that okay, doing a vocal warm up every day and I'm in this space of like trying to figure out…
James
Yeah.
AhDream
What is, what are my vocal scales, you know? So I know vocally I need to warm up. But also my body's like, if this is my instrument, I need to be strong, Like I need to be building my stamina. Umm, how do I stay ready? Or like, you know, if I get an audition that I'm not just acting from here up [gestures from neck above head].
James
Right.
AhDream
You know, how do I stay connected? How do I stay open and vulnerable? You know, like, those are the questions…
James
Yeah.
AhDream
That I'm trying to, you know, work on. And I think in maybe not doing everything every day, but like, I’mma do a vocal warmup today.
James
Right.
AhDream
Tomorrow I'll go to the gym. You know, I feel like as long as you're doing one thing of the things, then you're always in that readiness stage.
James
Absolutely.
AhDream
And you know, it's not, you're not burning yourself out so that when you get the thing, you’re tapped.
James
Right. And at least it keeps you in the mindset of I need to be getting better.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
Not I need to always be getting better at every moment.
AhDream
Right.
James
But every day, you know, this is what we pursue, umm, but I agree. I mean, you think about sort of peak performance in any field and there's definitely the greatest performers are musicians, athletes, umm writers. They all have these really tangible ways that they can get better.
AhDream
Hmm mm.
James
And I feel like that's so difficult for actors because I think…
AhDream
Hmm mm.
James
It's mostly or at least in large part because acting is inherently not a solo individual pursuit.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
You know, as an athlete you can do this one thing to get better at your are part of the team…
AhDream
It’s your jump shot.
James
Right. And that makes you better as a singer, as a musician, you practice your instrument, you get better.
AhDream
Hmm mm.
James
As an actor, we are not inherently going out and doing a thing just by ourselves. There are lots of monologues that you can practice.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
But that's not really the core of what we do.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
Which is what I think, in my head anyways, what makes it so difficult to find that like individualized specific practice that feels like I'm tangibly getting better.
AhDream
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's why like having a gym, a creative gym is important. You know, whether that's a scene study class, whether that's an on camera class on zoom, you know, like keeping yourself around iron so that you're constantly being sharpend.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
Not by your own like, mentality, you know, mindset or, but just like being around other people. Like, now I’ma just gon’ head and hype it up. MAD company, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, let's just talk about it for a sec.
James
Right! Let’s talk about MAD Company.
AhDream
Like a group of people, you know, recent MFA or, you know, master graduates who are like, we're going to do the thing.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
We're going to make the thing and we're not going to wait around doing it. In just by articulating that and taking actions towards that, you all are sharpening yourselves not only as artists, but as business people. And that piece is is is really critical.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
Because most artists don't know how to operate as businesses.
James
Absolutely.
AhDream
And that's the pitfall of the whole starving artist phrase or whatever is like, actually, no, that doesn't have to be your truth.
James
Right.
AhDream
And that doesn't have to be the reality.
AhDream
But if we're not putting ourselves around people who have the business acumen to be like, actually, I'm the CEO of this company, AhDream Smith, Inc. and oh, this is what you're doing? Oh, this is how you file your taxes? Oh, this is how you make sure you're on budget?
James
Right?
AhDream
Then that's another way of you staying ready.
James
Absolutely.
AhDream
You know what I'm saying?
James
Yeah. The everything beyond the actual like this happens on stage. This happens on camera. Because for unfortunately, I mean, I don't personally not personally intimate with the A-listers who are always acting. But every working actor I know, the amount of time they spend acting on camera, on stage is minuscule compared to everything else.
AhDream
Right, right.
James
You know, less than 10% of their time is spent actually doing the thing that we train for. The rest of it is getting prepared…
AhDream
Right…
James
Or finding the job or dealing with life uh that still happens around the thing that we all are obsessed with.
AhDream
Right.
James
Um, but yeah, MAD Company has been quite the, quite the eye opener. Um, there's a lot of work…
AhDream
Yes…
James
That goes, that goes into it that as actors we tend to not see, you know, we enter into an audition room or into a rehearsal room or on set and just do the thing and all these pieces are there. And I know for myself, I tend to take that for granted.
AhDream
Hmm mm.
James
That just, of course, in this audition room or in this rehearsal room, there's all these things. Of course, on set, there's all this stuff that happens. But every piece of that is months of work.
AhDream
Hmm mm.
James
And lots of money and lots of talented people willing to put their time and effort into this thing. It's a lot.
AhDream
It is, but I think what a gift. What a gift as an actor to have access to that perspective?
James
Hmm.
AhDream
You know, because I think also in not necessarily being prepared with the business acumen, side of what it takes to be an artist, most actors specifically don't have the perspective of what's going on on the other side of the table.
James
Right, of course.
AhDream
And I feel like once you get that perspective, it doesn't happen all the time. But most of the time it's easy for you to walk out that room and be like, listen, I did what I did. Now if they don't want me, it's not because I didn't do my part.
James
Right.
AhDream
You know, there's 17 other people. There's, you know, they're doing a Tetris with the cast…
James
Right.
AhDream
You know, there's directional relationships. There's there's things that I can't control. And I feel like that then allows you to sleep a little easier and move on to the next course, you know?
James
Of course, yeah, you can't hang on to it so tightly. But you you've been on the other side of the table here, so I see on your, your resume here, there's a film Happy anniversary that you were the lead in and directed.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
Um, tell me about that project. What is that? How did that come about? Was that your first time directing?
AhDream
That was my first time directing, um, I think myself on film. I, before I went to graduate school, I directed this play called Sisters on Fire.
James
Okay.
AhDream
Which was a musical, a musical…it it It's evolved. It had many iterations. Um, it started as a series of essays from these two professors who teach out in Long Island, and then they wanted to turn it into a play. Um, and it had a life, you know, back when Katrina happened…
James
Wow, okay.
AhDream
And this young man who, you know, constantly working on Broadway was the musical director. So, I mean, it's had some…
James
Sure
AhDream
Big people touch it, and then when I got involved, it was like 2016-ish and, um, I was initially in the play as an actor.
James
Okay.
AhDream
And we did it out in Long Island at like one of the libraries and I just said to myself, I say, you know, if this play comes back, I'd love to direct it. And the producer reached out and was like, hey, the director's sick, you know…
James
Wow, okay.
AhDream
We loved what you did. Would you be interested? And I was like, yes. Um, and so it had a life here in the city at the Tank. And umm…
James
Great.
AhDream
You know, it was well-received. And people were like, what are you doing next?
James
Damn, alright, gotta do something next then!
AhDream
Right! Umm, you know, it was iit was great. But then was also like, oh, I felt like there are people who do this professionally who have study for it, so you know, so then that little imposter syndrome, you know…
James
That we all get of course.
AhDream
And we did it again at, umm, the American Airlines, you know, like they have the…they’re like on the 40, 42nd stage.
James
The Public?
AhDream
No, no, no, no, no. Umm, it's over on Broadway, but American Airlines Theater has like a another floor where they did like their block box.
James
Ohhh, okay, yeah right. Yeah, uhh maybe the Pels or something?
AhDream
I don't know.
James
I don't remember. But yes, the second stage.
AhDream
Right, right, right, right, right. So we did it there and it also went over well. And then I was like, I'm going to grad school. So that was, that was kind of like my directing experience with that and with Happy Anniversary, um, it actually started as a monologue.
James
Okay.
AhDream
So during the pandemic, a colleague of mine, Larry Powell, was doing this online course called PAPA, which was just about like making the arts, you know, more accessible and empowering artists.
James
Wow.
AhDream
And one of the tasks during the program was to write a monologue and record it.
James
Hmm.
AhDream
And, you know, we did that. He gave feedback and then he was just like, I, I want to task you all to really, you know, consider telling this story, you know, not in just your blank background and like a light and looking at the camera, but like, how can you really create a story?
James
Right.
AhDream
And, you know, like get an editor involved, get a, you know, like…and he was working on a project at the time called The Gaze. And as in like gazing.
James
Okay.
AhDream
Umm and it was done, you know, across different states and all this other stuff, these big people in it and it won a couple of awards and he was turning it into like a film. But anyway, that inspired me. And so I was like, I'm going to turn this film, this monologue, into a short. And I did.
James
Wow.
AhDream
And it was steeped in just my frustration and disappointment with how, um, higher education institutions were like dealing with their students.
James
In like in response to COVID?
AhDream
In response to COVID.
James
Okay, sure.
AhDream
So like the conversation of like, yeah, I mean, online education is equivalent to…
James
Like exactly…
AhDream
…In person. And so thus the tuition should be the same. And you know, we can't give you another year and like all these different things and it's just like, I would be hard pressed to find a faculty member who were, if they were in our position, would be still making the same argument.
James
Right, of course.
AhDream
You know, umm, and so, yeah, it was I was just it was a lot of disappointment. And I that was the best way for me to kind of get it out of my system.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
Even though I still feel like I'm healing and still healing.
James
Yeah. I mean, it's only been a few years at this point.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
We still very much have have to deal with that, but that's so cool. That's an interesting way. I mean, it's a beautiful way to sort of deal with your frustration, your feelings channeled into this creative creative outlet.
AhDream
Yeah. And the title is, you know, that was my second year of grad school, so it’s my one year anniversary of being in grad school and that’s how we’re doing it.
James
How, what was the process of directing yourself like? Was that…
AhDream
Yeah, you know, I feel like if I'mma be honest, if I'm a yeah, I didn't give it I didn't give it too much thought It was just like I had gotten feedback from Larry around the monologue and I just kind of took that into more so in how I more so how I vocalize the monologue when I did it because it was a voiceover. So for the, I guess the acting part, I see things in my head, you know?
James
Hmm mm.
AhDream
I think I'm a I'm very much a visual learner and a visual, just person so I can see how I want things to feel. I think the biggest challenge in, um, shooting Happy Anniversary was just making sure that my my partner who I was working with who was also like the set designer, was catching the angles that I needed to happen. So she was kind of like my impromptu DP.
James
Sure, yeah.
AhDream
You know, because we had limited time, you know, we were lighting like and this is the first time. So like…
James
All the things you don't think about when you’re just an actor.
AhDream
Right? And because I'm still in school, like, I only have this one day off. So like this all has gotta happen…
James
It’s all gotta happen.
AhDream
Right. So it was just it was moving really fast. And I think in some ways that was great because I didn't have a lot of time to be like, uh, not not, not necessarily meticulous, but I didn't have I didn't have a lot of time to be hyper careful.
James
Hmm mm.
AhDream
You know, just like, trust yourself, get it done.
James
I like that. That’s what you gotta do.
AhDream
That was it. Yeah.
James
Trust yourself. Get it done.
AhDream
That's it.
James
So thank you so much for chatting with us today. We've got a little bit more time. I've got a few like just kind of quick little questions I like to throw at people.
AhDream
All right.
James
And see if it sparks anything. First up, I see on your resume, I'm genuinely curious about this. Uh, one of your special skills is Acro yoga.
AhDream
Yes.
James
What the hell is that?
AhDream
Oh, my goodness. It's the best thing ever! I highly recommend that everybody does it.
James
Okay!
AhDream
It's like a mixture between acrobatics and yoga.
James
Okay.
AhDream
So, you know, I just…
James
Like trapeze acrobatics?
AhDream
No, no, there's no, no, no, jump trampoline, it’s two people. So I'm…I love partner anything.
James
Okay.
AhDream
Partner dancing, swinging, bachata like. And so this was a form of, like physical activity that involved another person…
James
Hmm mm.
AhDream
But also like, stretches the limbs and…
James
Sure.
AhDream
All those things. And in some in another life, I did want to join the circus. And so, you know…
James
We all do at some point.
AhDream
Do the aerial and stilts. Yeah. And so this was a way to, like, live that out.
James
Hell, yeah.
AhDream
So like one of the one of the moves or positions that I just think is so cool is like one person is like laying on their back with their feet up in the air and then the other person places their hips on the soles of the other person's feet and then is now, you know, parallel to the…
James
Right, airplane.
AhDream
Airplane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember when I got, I first learned this move, somebody was saying, you know, it's such an awesome sensation because most people have never felt the the sensation of being like, just lifted up.
James
Being held.
AhDream
Yeah, yeah.
James
Wow.
AhDream
I mean, outside of being a baby.
James
Well, sure.
AhDream
But, you know, like as an adult, just like, levitating and it's just like if you have…most people can get this sensation if you go to the water, but if you have a fear of water, then you just don't get to…you know?
James
Yeah.
AhDream
And I was like, yo.
James
That’s deep.
AhDream
And right, it is deep. And I think to, you know, in this whole gender conversation, specifically, men who are usually the ones lifting people up, like how powerful is it to just like real quick reverse the roles and then like…
James
Trust someone to lift you. Yeah.
AhDream
Lift them up to lift you…exactly. And because your bones, if you know, if you do the positioning right, your bones will stack.
James
Right.
AhDream
And when your bones are stacked, they can hold a lot more weight than if they're like bent or whatever.
James
Right. It's not muscular. It’s structural.
AhDream
Exactly. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Structural.
James
I got you structural.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
Let’s go!
AhDream
Umm…
James
That's so coo.
AhDream
Yeah. And because you're in New York, of course it's here.
James
Cuz everything’s here.
AhDream
You know, go find a class. Yeah.
James
Absolutely everything’s here. Acro yoga.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
All right, I'm going to, I'm going to look that up. Are there any, off the top of your head, any dream roles or dream projects you would kill to one day be a part of or to one day play?
AhDream
I don't know if I would kill anybody…
James
Or whatever, whatever the verb is.
AhDream
Yeah. You know. I think my dream role doesn't exist.
James
Oh.
AhDream
Umm, and so I am excited for it to be created.
James
Wow, okay.
AhDream
I would love to do like a film where, you know, we're reimagining like the Laura Croft story or something like that. You know, maybe not necessarily treasure hunting, but like just a badass, you know, spy, but not necessarily connected to a love story.
James
Okay.
AhDream
You know…
James
Some sort of some sort of action, adventure.
AhDream
Action! You know, Listen, Marvel. Marvel.
James
I’m available.
AhDream
Marvel. Listen, I'm in this gym okay? I'm working out, five days a week. I'm getting it right, okay? You see these guns?
James
That’s right. Jon Favreau, you see this? You see this Favreau?
AhDream
I’m getting it together okay?
James
Call the woman.
AhDream
But yeah, I think I think playing a superhero would be cool, but outside of that, you know, even just an action film, like, I mean, bless his heart, Tom Cruise by the man knocking on 60 but where okay?
James
Yeah
AhDream
Where?
James
Still takes his shirt off on the beach with the 20 year olds and dive’s right in.
AhDream
Listen…you know just to just to be to do something like cool like that I feel like it's it's rare it's rare that you see that and I feel like it's rare, not even just black women really, but to see women, you know, taking up that kind of space in those kind of roles. And I would love to to do something like that where it's not about, you know, seduction or, you know, it's just about skill set.
James
Right. Straight up, bad ass.
AhDream
That's it. Like Taken. I got to set a special skills you know?
James
There you go.
AhDream
So that would be cool.
James
So that speaking of women of color stepping into those roles though.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
That's maybe you can maybe you can be the next in the next series of Taken.
AhDream
I receive it like oh my gosh you would go Regina King in The Harder They Fall like that was just bad, you know what I’m saying?
James
Ohhh, okay.
AhDream
It wasn't about seduction. Trudie? Just don't cross her. Don't cross her.
James
Okay! I love that. I love that answer. Umm, another little rapid fire question.
AhDream
Okay.
James
What drew you to acting/art/theater? Like what, what caused you to to to come this way to the dark side?
AhDream
Sure. I mean, it's not the dark side. It's the light side.
James
Okay.
AhDream
I grew up in the church, so I was always around, I think art and specifically music, did choir.
James
Yup.
AhDream
All the way up through high school. And so I feel like I've always been exposed to art. But why acting specifically? I just remember watching that scene. Madea's Family Reunion, and like Cicely Tyson is talking to, you know, the grandchildren and being like, you know, you got to have respect, respect yourselves, you know, and like legacy. And this is what we fought for. Da da da da and and her delivery of this speech was just so powerful.
James
Hmm.
AhDream
I felt like she was talking to me and it was on TV, you know? And so I was just like, man, I want to be able to have that type of impact, you know? I want people to to feel, you know and I remember going to a play. My aunt took me to this play in Chicago. I don't remember the name of it, but it was a it was a period piece and I remember the lights going up and the actors coming out in their regular clothes. But I still felt like they were those characters, you know? And I was like, I felt like I had been transported somewhere.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
You know, And I was like, Yo, I was wowed. I think that's when the seed was planted and then Cicely and then I was like, “There's got to be a way to do this.”
James
Yeah, the magic of performing.
AhDream
Yeah. Yeah.
James
That's why most of us do it. Do you have or could you make up on the spot a professional and or personal five year plan for us? Just track out what you want to happen.
AhDream
Five years.
James
We're obviously not going to hold you to this.
AhDream
You know, man, I saw that question and I was like, I should probably think about it. Umm, you know, what a year this is. It's 2023. So 2028? I’'m going to skip it. I'm going to skip it.
James
Alright.
AhDream
I'll just loosely say I will be financially making at minimum 80% of my income as being an artist.
James
Beautiful
AhDream
And yeah, and it will be above the poverty level.
James
Yeah. 80% or something significant.
AhDream
Yes.
James
Good. I mean, hey, that's a great plan. Are there any other creative outlets that you have or that you pursue that we haven't talked about any other hats you wear artistically.
AhDream
Umm, I love dancing.
James
Okay.
AhDream
I have not made the time to do it since being back, and that's okay.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
But I really do enjoy it and umm…a dream of mine is to learn piano. I bought a keyboard during the pandemic.
James
Excellent.
AhDream
I got access to a music theory book.
James
Excellent.
AhDream
I was like, “Oh, it's going down.” We're gonna be in the house. Oh, baby. Beethoven, I'm coming for you. Umm, but I didn't take into consideration the the depression and the just…
James
Yeah,
AhDream
The demotivation that the pandemic would have. But, um, I took the, I took my keyboard out of the closet yesterday. I'm going to set it up this week, and I think that will be my gift to myself.
James
There you go.
AhDream
You know, just a little bit, you know, schedule some time.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
A little bit, 1% every day.
James
That’s right. A little bit of intentionality.
AhDream
That's it.
James
So actor, director, dancer and a budding pianist.
AhDream
Listen…listen.
James
Is what we’ve got. Beautiful.
AhDream
I do have a dream role!
James
Oh, what's a dream role?
AhDream
Yeah.
James.
Tell me the dream role.
AhDream
You know, I would love I would love to play a doctor in a film or in a television series. As a kid, I always wanted to be a doctor and an actress.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
And I didn't realize that, you know, I didn't realize how drastically different the professions are because in my head, they seem very similar. Helping people.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
You know, and I didn't know. I mean, I think had I known some of the stuff that I know now, it's like maybe I would have gone to medical school, got it done.
James
Sure.
AhDream
And then made it a shift like.
James
Done the Ken Jeong.
AhDream
That's it, you know. But since we didn't do that and umm probably are not going to, you know…
James
It’s never too late.
AhDream
That commitment. I would love to play a doctor in film or television as a way to, like, complete this.
James
Yeah, absolutely. To live out that dream.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
Beautiful. Well, that I mean almost answers my my final question. Um, I like to sort of end on this as a what if, if you weren't an actor/artist/creative, what would you be?
AhDream
Yeah, I think a doctor or a lawyer
James
Or a lawyer?
AhDream
A lawyer. Umm, I remember being in fourth grade and my friend Krystal got pushed by this boy on the playground.
James
No she didn’t.
AhDream
Yes, she did. And I was not having it. And I, you know, she like, hit him back or something. And I went with her to the principal's office and I basically defended her. I was like, I saw it. This is what he did, and he got in trouble and she didn't.
James
And since then, I've been chasing that high ever since.
AhDream
You know, I was just like, I would make a good defense attorney. But yeah, I mean, that that moment was was pinnacle. And then I did a mock trial in high school.
James
Oh.
AhDream
And I mean, if you think about the skill set, a lot of, you know, what lawyers do, you know, prosecution, etc., is storytelling.
James
Absolutely, yeah. And here's the narrative.
AhDream
Persuasion, some manipulation, not that I would necessarily wanna do those things, but umm the story's good.
James
The story’s good.
AhDream
Yeah, Yeah. The storytelling aspect is there. And I do feel that like a lot of people, umm, unfortunately in this country get kind of swept under the rug because they don't have, you know, passionate people necessarily working on their behalf. They don't have inquisitive people willing to ask the hard questions.
James
Yup, absolutely.
AhDream
And you know, as an actor, when you're given a side and not the whole script or, you know, when you're given a script, but the character is one dimensional, you know, inquisitiveness and curiosity is really what helps you flesh out the character.
James
Yeah, right.
AhDream
And so I often wonder, like, how many people's lives could be saved or, you know, transformed if people were just asking different questions.
James
That's beautiful. That makes a lot of sense.
AhDream
Yeah.
James
Well, you know, it's never too late. Maybe, maybe one day you go to law school, you go to med school, become a lawyer doctor actor.
AhDream
Yeah. I mean, I've seriously still considered…
James
Of course.
AhDream
…Going back to law school because this is not as long of a commitment.
James
Right, and it requires less immediate specialization as well.
AhDream
Yeah. And, you know, maybe not going down the necessarily prosecution defense route, but entertainment law because I'm a I'm a corporation.
James
You are a corporation, you are a corporation and entertainer and a wonderful guest to have on our podcast.
AhDream
Why, thank you.
James
Thank you so much for joining us. This has been amazing. Umm, any final words of advice? Any last wisdom for for the youths?
AhDream
Oh, yes, wisdom. You know, I would just say this world is full of a lot of people who didn't necessarily have the space and language to, um, to be who we are, you know, out here trying to become.
James
Yeah.
AhDream
And I think because of that, there is a lot of umm frustration, misdirected commentary, umm and sometimes just straight up ill will. And so if you are an artist or if you are just a person, I would just offer to guard your heart in a way that keeps you obviously open to opportunities and whatever your craft is. But but create a council around you of people who are going to like, lift you up, you know, talk you off the ledge and offer you perspective. Because I think perspective is what a lot of people miss. With perspective, you can have empathy for those people. With perspective, you can give grace to yourself and with perspective, you can stay focused on what you're like trying to go after.
James
Beautiful. That was AhDream Smith. I am James Hale. This was One Hale of a Conversation. Thank you so much for joining us.
Maddi Albregts Outro
Thanks for listening. To learn more about any of the creatives who spoke in this episode, check out their social media links in the episode description.
